Before I explain here's a little dip into our relationship. We had just celebrated 9 years of marriage in July 2013. At the time that he said this to me (December 2013) my husband and I were going through a split. We had actually decided to divorce but still felt in our hearts that we needed to work on our marriage. He had come over to talk about our relationship and this came out.
At first I was shocked and angry at him. How dare he call me fat and say that I am unattractive?! He's not all that and a bag of chips either! What an asshole!.....catch my drift? Well he never really called me ugly or fat, that's just what I thought in my head.
Of course my body had changed since we got married in 2005. I wasn't 18 anymore and had birthed two beautiful sons. My skin was stretched and I suffered with postpartum depression which caused more weight gain from emotional eating. In the 10 years that we had been together I had went from 115 lbs to 200 lbs. That is a lot of weight to gain and made me look completely different.
Now, I'm sure some people would still be very angry at this point. Maybe I just had more strength to realize that there was nothing wrong with my husband being honest with me. He was very brave to be open and honest with his feelings. He knew that I was unhappy with myself. I had no self-confidence and this wrecked havoc in our sex life. I realized that my weight had caused enough issues for the both of us and it was time to do something about it.
Starting in January of 2014 I joined a gym and changed my eating habits. Within 2014 I lost 30 lbs and over 20 inches off of my entire body. Each passing day brought a boost in my self-confidence. I started to see that twinkle in my husband's eye return. He pushed me constantly to keep going and to not give up. He never once pushed me to lose another pound but pushed me to see that I am beautiful inside and out. He pushed me to see the confidence in myself.
30 lbs lighter I still struggle with self-confidence and emotional eating. I'm still working out and still eating healthy, with mess ups here and there. Yet despite, the struggles and my husband's honesty I have never thanked him for saying that to me. So here I am saying thank you to my amazing husband for having the balls to say how he felt. Thank you for loving me enough for the both of us. Thank you for telling me that I am beautiful every single day. Even when I am in pajamas, no make up and my hair is a mess. Thank you for seeing my strength when I couldn't. Without you I never would have tried.
To my readers, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be happy with who you are for a man's sake. I'm just recalling my situation and letting others know that there is nothing wrong with doing something to make your husband happy. I wholeheartedly support body positivity. However, if you are unhappy with your body don't be afraid to try. Take it one day at a time. Even if it's not for yourself at first.
