Why I Lost Weight For My Husband

As a married woman I constantly hear that my husband should love me no matter who I am or what I look like. My whole life I have agreed with this statement. Until the day my husband told me he was no longer attracted to me. 

Before I explain here's a little dip into our relationship. We had just celebrated 9 years of marriage in July 2013. At the time that he said this to me (December 2013) my husband and I were going through a split. We had actually decided to divorce but still felt in our hearts that we needed to work on our marriage. He had come over to talk about our relationship and this came out.

At first I was shocked and angry at him. How dare he call me fat and say that I am unattractive?! He's not all that and a bag of chips either! What an asshole!.....catch my drift? Well he never really called me ugly or fat, that's just what I thought in my head.

 But. after a few days of being angry at him I realized that he was right. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized what he saw. I knew that he still loved me and wanted to be with me but was no longer attracted to the woman he had married. What an odd realization to come to. 

Of course my body had changed since we got married in 2005. I wasn't 18 anymore and had birthed two beautiful sons. My skin was stretched and I suffered with postpartum depression which caused more weight gain from emotional eating. In the 10 years that we had been together I had went from 115 lbs to 200 lbs. That is a lot of weight to gain and made me look completely different. 

Now, I'm sure some people would still be very angry at this point. Maybe I just had more strength to realize that there was nothing wrong with my husband being honest with me. He was very brave to be open and honest with his feelings. He knew that I was unhappy with myself. I had no self-confidence and this wrecked havoc in our sex life. I realized that my weight had caused enough issues for the both of us and it was time to do something about it. 

Starting in January of 2014 I joined a gym and changed my eating habits. Within 2014 I lost 30 lbs and over 20 inches off of my entire body. Each passing day brought a boost in my self-confidence. I started to see that twinkle in my husband's eye return. He pushed me constantly to keep going and to not give up. He never once pushed me to lose another pound but pushed me to see that I am beautiful inside and out. He pushed me to see the confidence in myself. 

30 lbs lighter I still struggle with self-confidence and emotional eating. I'm still working out and still eating healthy, with mess ups here and there. Yet despite, the struggles and my husband's honesty I have never thanked him for saying that to me. So here I am saying thank you to my amazing husband for having the balls to say how he felt. Thank you for loving me enough for the both of us. Thank you for telling me that I am beautiful every single day. Even when I am in pajamas, no make up and my hair is a mess. Thank you for seeing my strength when I couldn't. Without you I never would have tried. 

To my readers, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be happy with who you are for a man's sake. I'm just recalling my situation and letting others know that there is nothing wrong with doing something to make your husband happy. I wholeheartedly support body positivity. However, if you are unhappy with your body don't be afraid to try. Take it one day at a time. Even if it's not for yourself at first.

Shake It Off vs Habits(Stay High)

Alright ladies, I love a great catchy tune just like the next girl but I am so sick and tired of hearing all the crap on the radio. So much so, that I'd rather not listen to anything expect my favorite local station Q101. Recently I've seen a lot of other bloggers falling in love with Taylor Swift's new jam "Shake It Off". It's so catchy and makes you happy that I also, have fallen in love with it. Then our local pop station is constantly playing Tove Lo's song "Habits(Stay High). This song is incredibly annoying and has been digging into my brain so much that I decided I needed to get this out into the open. I'm sure other woman have posted about it but I am doing so as well.


"Habits(Stay High)"

Without going into much detail, I'm just going to start off by saying this song has got to be one of the worst songs I have ever heard. At first I liked it. Tove Lo has an amazing voice and she is a beautiful woman. However, I really paid attention to the lyrics and they are just disgusting. For example, she talks about how she throws up in the bathtub after binging on twinkies, or how she goes to sex clubs. But all in all, the song pretty much tells young women that when they are going through a break up (from a guy or a girl) that they should go get high all the time to deal with the pain. I've been through some tough break ups but let me tell you the hardest break up of all was when my husband and I split up for a brief time just last year. Never once did I consider getting high to deal with how I felt. I didn't drink, smoke, eat or anything. I dealt with it the best I could, by crying my damn eyes out like a normal person. Now, I don't have daughters but I do have sisters, and this is not what a young teenage girl should be listening to.

"Pick up daddies at the playground
How I spend my daytime
Loosen up the frown,
Make them feel alive
I'll make it fast and greasy
I'm numb and way too easy"

Seriously chick??? This is what you thought you should write a song about. Telling girls that they should go pick up other men, have sex with them, and be easy??? No! HELL NO! Young women need to be strong, and know that even when they are in pain from a break up or whatever that they can get through it. There are many other outlets to deal with pain then getting high and having sex. They can work out, write, draw, talk to their girlfriends, run, etc. The music video is also disgusting. I get it, SEX IS EVERYWHERE, and parents need to monitor what their kids watch but even as a grown woman it's just gross. All in all, it's just not the right message to be sending to teenage girls and other women 

"Shake It Off" 

Now, I will compare "Shake It Off" to "Habits". At first, when I heard this song I thought it was annoying. Especially when radio stations tend to play it over and over. But, then it grew on me and I realized that the message within the song is great. Taylor sings about how the media or other people portray her and how she simply shakes it off. And she is right, haters are gonna hate, players are gonna play, heart breakers are gonna break, potaters are gonna potate and you know what you should do, SHAKE IT OFF!!!! Finally, a decent song that speaks to girls that says, "You know what, I know things suck right now and that guy dumped you, or those girls are talking crap about you, but you know what you do, shake it off and don't let it get to you. Because you are better than that"! Why is it so complicated for other sing writers to write songs like this? 

"But I keep cruising
Can't stop, won't stop grooving
It's like I got this music
In my mind
Saying, "It's gonna be alright."

That's right ladies, everything is going to be alright. I really believe that music soothes the soul. When I was going through a break up I always turned to music like Destiny Child's "Survivor". We need more songs out there that speak positivism and strength to women. More songs that tell women that it's okay to be in pain and still be strong at the same time. There is no reason in the world to let a guy or a girl get you down and effect you so much. You are loved and cared for. Things get better and you don't have to get high or be easy. All you have to do is shake it off and smile girl. You got this. 

Let me know your opinions in the comments below. This is just my honest opinion about two songs and not my opinion about the character of the artists themselves. 

Credits for song lyrics go to A-Z Lyrics.com

To the Girl That Wants My Husband

I have been wanting to write this post for awhile now. I just didn't know how to say the things I wanted to say without sounding like a downright bitch. So I am going to try my best to stay calm and get this all out of my head. But before I start here is a little background. I, Staci, have a hot husband. I know some people won't agree but these leeches at the bar sure agree. My husband and I have been together long enough now that I am very touchy about my man. This isn't about the girls who innocently flirt with him, this is about the girls that see me there and continue to flirt with him. Or the girls who know damn well he is married and continue to try. I'm no where near insecure about myself or our relationship. It's more or less annoying that some of these girls think I'm imaginary or that he is making me up. So, without further ado, here goes nothing. 

To the Girl That Wants My Husband, 

                           Hello there. I'm sure you assumed that I wasn't real but, guess what darling...I am. I heard about how you were practically down his throat last night while he was trying to get you off of him. Despite him telling you numerous times he is married, you continued. I know that my husband is sexy as hell. He's funny and easy to talk to. And damn does he look good in those jeans he wears. Trust me I know, I see him in those every single day. When you started to flirt with him, I could have forgiven you. You had been drinking, it's innocent and you just can't help it. He draws you in with his charisma. But after the fourth or fifth time of him asking you to leave him alone and letting you know he is married is where I cross the line. "Well where is your wife at then if you're married?" Umm I'm at home with our children where I am supposed to be. My husband isn't out to meet other women, he is out to work, to provide for his family. What makes you think it's ok to continue after a man who is married? Do you have no respect at all for your fellow woman? I'm not some naggy, bitch wife who he leaves at home because he doesn't want me. And no matter how much you had to drink, that gives you no right to continue. Then I meet you. Yah we've met and you have the audacity to tell someone you thought I was imaginary. No honey, I'm no where near imaginary. THEN! You continue to flirt with him even when I am in the room! You aren't the first girl to flirt with him in front of me but you were probably one of the few that knew who I was. I know you don't need or probably want my respect but I'm being classy enough to ask you, how would you feel if this was switched around? Maybe the next time you try to prey on a married man in front of his wife you should think twice. And if this has happened to you before, even more reason to not go after a man who is married. There are plenty of single guys out there looking for a nice girl. Except mine, he's found one already. SO HANDS OFF!

Sincerely,
       His Wife. 

Taking my kids into public.

When it comes to taking my kids out into public, I turn into a scared, psycho mom. My two boys are never good in public when they are together. But, if it is only one of them they are perfect little angels.

Today, Travis didn't have school because a young police officer in our town was killed. His funeral was today and with roads being blocked off for the procession they decided to cancel school. Since school was cancelled for this reason I thought that it would be great for us to go stand on the side of the road with the rest of the people paying their respects. Boy was I wrong. They were maybe good for the first 15 minutes but then they went crazy. They were running around, jumping into puddles, hollering, screaming, jumping around, fighting, yeah being typical little boys. I wasn't really mad that they were acting like that, I was more frustrated that when I would ask them to stop, they would stop for 2 seconds and then continue like I never said anything to them.

I'm not sure why I let this get to me but I do. Sometimes I just lose it and then afterwards feel like complete shit. All the other moms around me were looking at me like I was the worst mother. Either because I wasn't yelling at them or because I was. I know I shouldn't care but I do. I don't want to look like a crazy person, or like the mom with the crazy, uncontrollable kids. They were bored and for the most part didn't understand what was going on and I get that. Now that I sit here and write this I feel like I probably went a little overboard a few times. But, they need to understand that they have to listen to their mother. Also they need to understand that what we were doing and where we were at, was not the time or place to be acting like crazy little terrorists. Right?

Anyway, towards the end of the procession they calmed down and we went to the store. Going to the store is always an adventure when my kids go along. Of course they were acting nuts and I tried playing along. Just being funny and not taking things to seriously. I get stared at and other adults give me weird faces like I should be doing better. Or like I must be a teen mom because I can't handle my kids. When I get in the check out line there is a mom in front of me with two boys and she looks about as frazzled as I am. We share a look, and say at the same time "I know how you feel". This one moment completely changed my day.

I forget that I'm not the only mom that goes through days like today. Despite the stares, and my complete mommy meltdown I know that I am a good mom. I might not be a perfect mom but who is. And yah I'm a young mom but I wouldn't change that for anything. My kids are crazy, they don't listen, they fight, they yell, they act like kids and I need to start being ok with that. I bet that if I just stayed calm and laughed with them instead of telling them to shush, our adventures out into public wouldn't be so difficult. And so what if those people stare because I'm the laid back fun mom who let's her kids laugh and be kids. They can just add me to their list of parents who don't know how to parent.

And to the mom's who are just like me. Who are frazzled and irritated and losing it, take a deep breath with me. As I sit here and wonder why I freaked out, I think about the mom who had to lay her 24 year old son to rest today. I can't even imagine putting myself into her shoes. So after our long day of nerve wracking madness I tucked my little monsters into bed and hugged them a little tighter.

We may only have our kids for a little while, so what if they act like kids. Let them and have fun with them before you can't anymore. And starting tomorrow I am going to take my own advice.

Stay quirky,
      Staci

First Controversial Topic

Alright ladies and gents. It's time for my first controversial post. 

I had a conversation today with someone and it got me to thinking. Why do women get so upset when men go to strip clubs? And if you know said man is going to strip club, tell him it's ok with you if he goes, then get pissed when he's honest with you that he got a lap dance, what gives you any right to be upset with him? 

First off, let me begin with, I am married. I have been married to my husband for 9 years. At the beginning, I would get upset if he would go. Pretty much out of my own selfishness and because all my girlfriends made me feel like I should be mad at him. Then, as the years passed he stopped going to the strip club because it's just too far to drive to. He might have gone once a year if that. But eventually as time went on I didn't care about it so much anymore. So what if he has beautiful titties in his face, he comes home to me and then loves on me and that is what matters. 

This topic came up this morning when I was speaking to a male friend of mine. My husband and his buddies went out to a bachelor party last night and I went to the bachelorette party. I knew ahead of time my husband was going to a strip club. I told him to have a good time, simple as that. When we met up later that night I asked him how it went and he seemed unamused but told me he got one dance. Cool, whatever, I felt no jealousy at all. 

Now our friends night went a bit differently. So he gets home and his girlfriend asks him if he had a dance. He answers honestly that yes, he had a dance. What does the girl proceed to do? She smacks him in the face and continues to fight with him because she is mad he actually went to the strip club. She knew ahead of time he was going. What did she expect him to do? Sit there while his buddies had a good time? 

Now, I might be out of line but, I see things differently then some women. I understand that some women view strip clubs as disgusting places that are full of whores. I have no idea, because I have never been to one. But, I will not judge another women because of her place of employment. If she is happy, I am happy. 

I really like to pick and choose my battles with my husband. I get that these two are only dating but in my opinion, she had no right to be pissed off at him because he went to the strip club. She knew ahead of time, like me, that he was going. It is her own fault that he went. If she didn't want him to go, or if she felt uncomfortable with the idea, then she should have sat down with him and talked to him about it like a grown up. Men cannot read our minds ladies. Yes, I know we expect them to but come on now. 

If you are one of the ladies out there that gets upset then here is my advice to you. Instead of bitching to your friends about it, actually talk to your man. And I'm not saying be a total bitch. I'm saying sit down, like the classy, grown woman you are and tell him how you feel. If he gets upset, then obviously he doesn't care that much about you. If he did then your opinion would matter. My husband would get defensive at first too. But then we learned to compromise and this topic is no longer an issue in our home. Neither are sex toys and porn but I will save that for another day. 

I'm not usually a fan of talking about controversial topics. Sometimes though they are good to talk about. I'm sure as I continue my blog I'm going to irritate people. And I know there are going to be women out there that thoroughly disagree with me. That is ok if you don't agree with me. That is part of the beauty in this world is we get the chance to have our own independent thoughts and beliefs. 

If you would like, go ahead and voice your opinion in the comments. All I ask is you keep it classy and respectful of other women and men. 

Thanks for reading and keep it quirky <3 

Staci 

My Very First Post.....this is weird

So this is new. My very first post as a blogger. I've wanted to be a blogger for sometime now. I would try something out and it just never seemed to work out the way I wanted it to. I don't necessarily have a specific theme or topic in mind yet. I really wanted to use this blog as a tool to get all the jumbled up mess out of my head. I'm usually a very positive person, because I like to see the positives in the negatives so I figured why not give my positiveness back to the world. I love to laugh, and make people laugh and I love that I'm a weirdo. Hence, how I came up with the name "Quirky Mom Life". If I asked a few people to describe me, the first thing they usually say is quirky. Yah...that's me. 

Let me start off by introducing myself. I'm Staci. I am a 27 year old momma of two amazing, psychotic sons named Travis and Owen. Travis is 8 (OMG!!) and Owen is 4 (OMGx2!!!!). I am happily and crazily married to my pain in the rear end husband, Zach. We have been together for 10 years and married for 9 years. We live in the quaint town of Shelby, Indiana. We recently just moved out into the country and we love it! 

I am a birth and postpartum doula. So you will probably see me post a lot about birth and pregnancy. Between the years of 2007 and 2009 I had 3 miscarriages and one in 2004. Needless to say, this hard time in my life has made me very passionate about my job. I am currently enrolled at Purdue Calumet in Hammond, Indiana, as well. My major course of study is Elementary/Special Education with a minor in psychology. Also, I have a certificate in therapeutic massage and bodywork. I suppose you could say I wear many hats...mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, granddaughter, aunt, niece, doula, teacher, counselor, massage therapist, fan girl, and now blogger. 

One of my favorite hobbies is reading. I can read just about anything and not get bored with it. Currently I am reading "If I Stay" and it is AMAZEBALLS! After having children I became obsessed with movies. I am a TwiHard to the fullest and a PotterHead. I love love love The Hunger Games series, Divergent, anything by John Green, The Mortal Instruments etc. There are just too many for me to name. I am a tv series junkie, as well. My current tv loves are American Horror Story and New Girl. But, I am fond of The Walking Dead, Shameless, True Blood and House. 

I think that is enough about me for right now. As, I create and mold my blog you will get to know more about me and I hope that I will have followers who are just like me. A little fun, a little loud and a little quirky. 

Staci